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Feng SHe Articles on Wellness


Time to Embrace the Truth: You Are Worthy

Mom gives Young Son a piggy back rideRORY KELLY CONNOR: There is an ancient Chinese proverb - and some say curse - that states, “May you live in interesting times.” Many would concur that we are now, no matter where you live on the planet, living in very interesting times. Economically, socially, culturally, technologically, spiritually, and morally, we are all living in very interesting times that are challenging what we have been taught, what we believe, what works and what no longer works – at all levels.

No longer are citizens simply accepting the status quo. No longer are women standing powerlessly by allowing discrimination, objectification, subjugation and denigration. And with the incredible transparency offered by the iternet, as well as the growing global discourse on social networks, no longer are individuals blindly standing by beliefs and ideas that feel untrue, that were taught to them as children by parents, society, religion and leadership.

Waking Up to Worthiness

The 'sleeping giant'– otherwise known as the collective unconscious - is awakening. We are asking questions. And the answers are no longer palatable or make sense. Inherent in our questioning, our need for answers, our trust in our newly emerging conscious selves, is a core belief that we are worthy. After all, when we are conscious, we are aware that who we are matters. This not only has meaning, it has value. And if we have value, we are 'worth' something. Something wonderful.

In America, where I am based, we are also living in interesting times. We are questioning who we are and where we are going. As an American, I am very proud of our journey, most especially the great thinking and foresight of the men who strategically planned the principles upon which the United States of America were built upon, reflected in The Declaration of Independence.

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their creator with certain inalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

Basically, this brilliant statement is core to what we hold most dear then and now – freedom. For everyone. And boiled down to its simplest form, this statement says, “You are worthy.” Every one of you. Oh, and by the way, the fact that you are worthy is an inalienable right. So, you deserve to be here (life), you deserve to be free (simply for being alive), and please feel completely free to pursue your dreams because you deserve to be successful and happy! And we hold this to be a self-evident truth! What a fantastic principle upon which to build a country! You are worthy! Total truth!

Where Did You Get That Idea?

In my work with coaching clients, I have repeatedly seen the core conviction of not being worthy surface as a significant obstacle. “I am not worthy…I don’t deserve…forgiveness, happiness, love, success, abundance, joy, prosperity, freedom to choose my path…I am not worthy.”

So, obviously I have been wondering why or how it comes to pass that so many people believe, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that they are not worthy. I am wondering how we come to believe that we do not deserve happiness, freedom and equality with all other humans who live or have ever lived. Where do we get this idea from? Who teaches us this? Who reinforces this belief day after day?

Then, one hot summer day, I was killing time in the city while my son attended theatre camp and wandered into a nearby and sweetly air-conditioned Roman Catholic church. Raised Catholic, I have always had a deep love for ornate Catholic churches. (After all, church is where I first met God…but that’s another story.) I took a seat and simply soaked up the peaceful atmosphere and beautiful interior. As the noon hour passed, about forty people had joined me in the church. Much to my surprise, Mass suddenly began, apparently a daily occurrence to accommodate the business commuters over lunch hour.

Sitting in the back, quietly listening and observing, the words and rituals as familiar to me as my own name, a phrase I had said thousands of times was spoken once again by all. “Lord, I am not worthy to receive You, but only say the word and I shall be healed.” And for the first time I recognized, with my coach’s heart, the lie. “Lord, I am not worthy…”This is not true.

The Truth Will Set You Free

This is just one example. An example from my own life. Words I said repeatedly in spiritual communion with my Creator. A belief born in an environment sanctioned by my parents and positioned as the truth. And welcomed by me as the Word of God, starting when I was a child and pronounced well into my adulthood. I never had a chance.

As noted, this is just one example. Yet, there are many other examples from other religions, cultural practices and societal rituals celebrated and taught around the world. If you do this, you are not worthy. If you don’t do what I want, you are not worthy. If you are born into that group, you are not worthy. Masked in dogma or tradition, these teachings are not true.

How do I know this? Because the truth would set you free. It would never hold you captive, deny you your dreams, or belittle you. It would not manipulate or control you. It would not teach a child that he is not worthy. It would never teach a child that she is not good enough. The truth would always align with Light. And these teachings are aligned with darkness. No healthy person welcomes them.

You Are Worthy

As we awaken to consciousness, we inherently know this is true. As the planet breaks open in transparency, and the Light of consciousness finally begins to shine all over the world, more and more people are questioning any belief that tells them that they are not worthy. And they are teaching their children that they are worthy. Just because. It’s called unconditional love.

Being conscious requires that we both walk our talk and be our truth. It reminds us that we have and always will have the power to create our world, make new rules, and choose what is healthy, self-loving and actually works for us. So, I have changed the words to what I know to be truth and feels incredibly loving. “Lord, I am worthy to receive You, and in saying that word, I am healed!” Tell me - how does saying that feel?

For the record, you are extraordinarily worthy. You are a magnificent manifestation of creation endowed with many gifts and an infinite ability to love and be loved. You are extremely valuable. You are worthy. This is truth. It is your inalienable right to be so. Take a look at yourself. Can you see? It’s self-evident.

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Dec 17, 2012 - 10:35 AM

Anna-Marie Heitzner - Great article, thank you. Everyone is worthy of everything and should be taught to feel this way from birth and throughout childhood. The words 'I am not worthy' discourage the development of self esteem. The problems can occur when one feels 'entitled'. Humility and gratitude are usually missing when this happens.

Sep 20, 2012 - 12:47 PM

Bonnie Strehlow - I found this article through a group I recently joined on LinkedIn and find much wisdom in what Rory has to say about our innate worthiness. It is true that many of us have been taught from an early age to either feel worthy or not. This is beyond religion and beyond any one person's spiritual faith--it has to do with how core beliefs about you were believe you are...or aren't...are formed between the ages of conception and age 6. During those early years when the conscious mind has not yet fully formed, everything is taking in as "I" and held as truth in the subconscious mind. The rest of our life is spent either proving those beliefs to be true or rebelling against them. And, yes, we continue throughout our lives to form new beliefs and let go of old ones. That is true. And it is also true that those early core beliefs about worthiness follow us into adulthood, coloring and determining every decision we make. We are awakening in these times, as individuals and as a collective, and many of us are questioning the truth that we've been taught about ourselves. I am one of those many who are questioning my beliefs and patterns and letting go of what no longer serves me so that I can live a more authentic life--a life that reflects the divine that lives in me as me--as opposed to what I have been taught by my parents, culture, language, race, religion, education and the myriad of other ways we create subconsciously held beliefs. Thank you Rory for a very thought-provoking article. As a coach and healer I am always looking for new ways to perceive reality and live my life with purpose and authenticity.

Sep 7, 2012 - 1:30 AM

Ann - God is a perfect and supreme being and did make man in his likeness and man (and women) were created as perfect; no disagreement there. But that is only the beginning if the story. Where do the chapters of genesis and the entrance of evil and man's free will come into your "conclusion" of your understanding? Perhaps some Humans have unfortunately humanized God. But what i feel when reading this partcular opinion piece is humans have elevated their importance to Godliness, which I believe is even more unfortunate. The perfect supreme

Sep 4, 2012 - 11:43 AM

Mary Giuffre - Hello Ann ~ The God I learned about in childhood and the God I have come to know are very personal as is the case with everyone you will find here on As little Catholics we were taught that "Man is a creature, composed as body and soul and made in the image and likeness of God". We were also taught that "God is a Perfect Supreme Being". When I put the two together my conclusion is simple. The God I have come to know is a Perfect Being...A Perfect Being is not capable of imperfection, therefore His/Her creations must be perfect as well. We are those perfect creations along with everything else in the universe. I truly believe that in our "profoundly inferior human understanding" as you put it, that we have misinterpreted our God by humanizing Him/Her to the point that this "Perfect Supreme Being" is believed by us to have our limited ability to LOVE. A "Perfect Supreme Being" would not require us to be humble or our praise...only our LOVE. The God I've come to know, know's I'm worthy of receiving all the best things in life, including Communion should I choose to accept it (the Gift of Free Will) and I know that I am, You are, Rory Kelly Connor is and Christians and non-Christians alike are Worthy too. Sending you much LOVE for a Joyful and Worthy life. ~ Mary Giuffre - Creator/Editor of

Sep 4, 2012 - 2:13 AM

Ann - This really struck a personal chord with me. I felt so "unworthy" for so many years; i stopped attending mass for 20+ years just because of those exact words. I rationalized my actions as "Protecting" myself. But then I sought to seek understanding and wisdom from God rather than my own, profoundedly inferior human understanding. So now I'm curious: are you saying Human-ness is equal to Godly-ness? Are humans so arrogant and boastful to believe they should not honor God or humble themselves before God? If you are a true Christian then you believe in the passion and sacrifice of Christ and the gift which was given by Him for YOU! Do you truly believe that anything that you do is equal to that great sacrifice? Would you willing give up your son's life so others may live? Are you free of all sin? If not, then how dare you say we are worthy TO RECEIVE HIM. We should all be prostrating ourselves at His feet. That's the point of the "not worthy" TO RECIEVE HIS BLOOD HIS BODY and have it present within ourselves (BTW it's "not worthy to receive you under my roof) It has nothing to do with the life that we have on earth. In fact throughout the Bible God wants us to have an abundant, rich life. He even request that we test him by asking him for an "abundant" life. (Malachi 3:6-10 or there abouts depending upon your version). And if you truly believe all things come from God and are possible thru God then again we should be glorifying Him and praising Him. Don't confuse the greatness and power of God with the limit of the human consciousness. I respect what you are trying to do as a life coach. I know because it took me two years of intense "coaching" and personal development to get my mind right about my "worthiness" to be loved, to have success, to "be deserving". To get rid of all the negative crap i believed about myself and reprogram my thinking with the positive (as a man thinketh.. Thats actually a Bible verse) But my joy, happiness, and fulfillment was not truly realized until I accepted the "unconditional love" of God and became humbled enough to trust Him and His wisdom, guidance, strength, protection rather than my own; giving up my ways for His. To ask Him everyday to help me act, say, think and do according to his will and not my own "human consciousness" I am so inferior to God and his greatness that I am NOT WORTHY, but I do accept the glorious and wonderful gift and life that he is giving me.


Article Pic Biography
Based out of both the New York City and Philadelphia metropolitan areas, Rory Kelly Connor is CEO, Founder & President of Can You Imagine, a coaching and strategic counsel consultancy dedicated to working with businesses, entrepreneurs and individuals around the world who want to increase their potential, generate outstanding results, or desire change in their professional and/or personal lives. Serving clients across North America, Europe and selectively in rest of world, she brings more than 17 years of client experience to her work as a Peak Potential Coach, Certified Life & Career Coach, and Brand/PR Strategy Expert. An accomplished writer, speaker, trainer, workshop leader, and change management expert, she is noted for helping clients get clarity, explore limitations, exceed expectations, and create plans of action that propel them towards their goals and creating what they desire. For more on Rory, please visit Can You Imagine

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