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What To Expect When You’re Not Expecting

Woman's Navel

GRACE STE.CROIX: Society has an expectation for every milestone. Once a happy couple decides to become committed, the questions begin to arise about engagement. When that couple decides to become engaged, many people want to know about every detail of the upcoming wedding. Again, once the couple is married, the questions turn to babies. When, how many and everything in between.

There is no question that it is okay to be curious of another person’s life and to embrace each stage of life they may enter. However, when do these expectations become too much for one to bear?

May 19 -26, 2013 was Infertility Awareness Week in Canada. Infertility hits so many couples and affects both men and women. These couples include those who cannot have children at all and those who have had children but cannot conceive more. Infertility is difficult and not an easily discussed topic among families and friends and many people suffering from fertility issues are ashamed. There is a lot of misconception around fertility. For example some people believe that in vitro fertilization always works or that with modern medicinal advancements everyone should have no problem conceiving after forty - but the truth is, those suffering from fertility issues go through an emotional, physical, psychological and often times a financial burden as treatments cost a lot of money.

When a couple gets married, some have children right away, others wait to enjoy their marriage or to save and some try to have children and struggle. The gossip, questioning and assumptions can seriously hurt a couple struggling with infertility and send them into a deep feeling of isolation. Some couples do share their struggle with their families. Some families can be supportive and some start offering (often times unwanted) advice.

What we as a society have to realize, is that even though we ourselves may not have fertility issues, we must become educated so we can understand where those who do are coming from. We need to talk about fertility openly and stop putting people in such a tight mould (“You have been married five years now, you should have kids!”) Ultimately, we never know what is happening behind closed doors and it’s not nice to stir the gossip pot. Couples struggling with infertility are having enough on their plate.

What we can do is start talking to our children about health. Though this does not solve all fertility issues, it helps. The decisions you make today could affect the outcomes of tomorrow. Let us also change our expectations of placing people in a cookie cutter mould and realize that everyone lives a unique life and life moments come at different times, in different ways for families.

Cookie cutter expectations can harm those who are suffering from infertility, so we should follow the three L policy. Look at the person’s surroundings, Listen to what they’re saying and feeling and Learn more about what they’re going through. It’s that simple.

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More from Grace Ste. Croix


Article Pic Biography
Grace Ste.Croix is a writer, entrepreneur and a motivational speaker in Canada. She writes for a number of international magazines on subjects including personal growth, health and wellness, and current events. She uses her legal experience in her writing to dissect current issues. As an animal rights campaigner, she strives for tougher laws on animal abuse and encourages their adoption from humane societies and animal shelters. Visit her at and and on Facebook:Grace Ste.Croix

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